More about Goals

Last week we looked at Goals – why they are a Good Thing and why they don’t need to be selfish. Thank you to everyone who messaged and emailed me with their secret goals and passions – you know who you are!! Your secrets are safe with me. And I hope my replies were helpful. I appreciate the opportunity to be of use, and to engage with a few more people – it has been a pleasure. Keep in touch!

Perhaps it’s a good time to look at how you know what your goals are – what they really are.

Here are some more questions that might help:

  • What are the five things I value most in my life right now?
  • Is there something I have always wanted to try but have put off/been afraid of/thought I couldn’t afford/didn’t have time for?
  • Who do I admire? Would I like to be like them?
  • What epitaph would I like on my gravestone? (I still like Spike Milligans: “I told you I was ill”)
Here are some questions that might help you decide which are the most appropriate immediate goals and what you need to make it happen:
  • What skills do I need?
  • What habits do I need to ditch? (There will be some, trust me!!)
  • What are the little steps I will need to take to make up the big stride?
  • What will happen if I take those steps? 

Successful people have one thing in common: they spend more of each day doing the things that are important. And by “important” we mean “takes them towards their goals”. Once you have identified your goals, chosen the little steps that will make up the big strides towards the goals, and made your plans to acquire the skills, tools and habits you need, you will know, as clearly as a clear thing on clear day in clear town – during the clear sale – your path and priorities. It might surprise you. I have a friend who worked happily in a public sector organisation, successfully working with people with lots of challenges in their daily lives. She had a son, a partner, was happy. But in her spare time she wrote romances – full-on, pink-lace-bodice-ripping-heaving-bosoms-panting-bouncing-tousled-damp-steamy-smooth-and-exhausting romances that certainly left me feeling a little, well, rosy. She wrote them because she enjoyed writing them. I rather suspect her partner liked them too, but I didn’t like to pry……

     But one day, out of a conversation we were having, she realised that her priorities were changing. Sure, she still loved working with people, and she had been doing it a long time. It was safe. But she felt under her twin-set a yearning for something else. She did the asking herself questions thing and it turns out that, to her surprise, she wanted to write full time and spend more time at home with her son and partner – who was an artist who worked at home! She made a few plans, took a punt on herself, and within a year had been published. She had genuinely seen herself in her paid job until retirement, hadn’t really considered anything else, had seen her “stories” as a hobby. Our goals can come from lots of places – hers dropped out of her hobby. This also shows, rather nicely, that goals don’t have to be all about work as one of her drivers was being at home with her family – although my own view is that once work is aligned the rest falls into place. But I am a card-carrying workaholic with no sense of restraint. And insomnia. And a real need to witness the dawn every day in case I miss something. Was that too much information…..?!
   This is a theme that will run and run. Please message and email me with your comments and the next blogpost will reflect the issues you bring up. There is more to come………
Have a great week. 
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