Are You All Loved Up?

Ah, Valentines Day, or as I prefer to think of it, the day of a massacre. A single day in the year to show someone you care and let you off the hook for the remaining 364. Or to remind you that you don’t have a significant other for whatever reason. Or to enable the school bullies to pick off the vulnerable and lonely. Or give that groping madman in Finance another excuse (just as you thought Christmas was getting safer with the dying out of mistletoe…) to offer faux lurve. Faux moist lurve. Ew. You can probably tell I am not a fan of Valentines Day.

Don’t misunderstand me, I love Love. I enjoy being married (fortunately). The idea of a good cuddle and some frolics is appealing, as it the possibility of a decent meal and a great bottle of wine. But containing it all in one day definitely does not appeal.

Of course, being me I have to point out that this is a bit like only demonstrating good practice on the day of your appraisal. All year you perform badly, fail to meet targets, treat colleagues like poop, slope off early, forget to complete tasks. But the day of your appraisal arrives and you turn up on time, well turned out, smile at colleagues, check your paperwork and expect a good report. Well, no. In Business as in Love, authenticity is all. If you want to create the right environment for positive growth and warmth, want to clinch the deal and ensure future business, nurture and manage your relationships and send the right messages you have to be real and be consistent. If you neglect your core relationships, abuse peoples goodwill and rely on past reputation you will fail, and should not be surprised if you are left behind and loveless.

Everyone has an off day and given an overall pattern of achievement and support that can be overlooked. But without consistent and reliable evidence of good performance and exceptional relationship management the project is doomed to failure. Hello divorce courts. Bye bye repeat business.

Think about your credibility if you value your relationships: demonstrate ability and capability;  nourish those bonds; keep the standards up; strive for better and don’t tolerate less than the best. Don’t save it all up for the one day sales pitch or the appraisal day, or Valentines Day. If you value it, give it the effort and energy it deserves.

And above all – if you aren’t  enjoying it don’t do it. There’s the clue: if you enjoy what you are doing, all the above will be second nature, and if you don’t enjoy it, do something different. Is it an effort to book the restaurant? To complete the tasks? To cuddle? To interact? You may find you are in the wrong job or the wrong relationship.  Both of those things are open to change…………………perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate…?

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!!!!!

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